As one of my last statuses on Facebook, I wrote: "Had a great time with my folks and things just got funnier when I nearly kicked an apple through my parent's windshield. I thought my mom would wet herself from laughing!"
Now to tell you how I nearly ended up doing this requires a little bit of back story so you can appreciate all the finer details.
While sitting and chatting in the living room I told my folks the story about the lady from church who offered me a jacket of hers. That in itself is not all that interesting or amusing, it was the way she offered it to me that makes you go, "huh?" She was sitting beside me and leans over and asks, "How big are you?" Up to this point we hadn't been chatting so to lead into a conversation with that was a little bit odd to me...I just shrugged my shoulders and said, "Big I guess." She leans in again and almost hisses, "I have this jacket that might fit you. I just HATE it and thought you might like it. It doesn't fit me right and besides, I just HATE it! Would you like it?" Again, what a weird way to offer someone something! I did take the jacket and I like it. It's suede and it fits, so I guess that's why I don't hate it?!!
Anyhoo, I told this story and everyone was like, wow! What a weird way to offer someone something, I hate it, so obviously you have no taste and would like to have this thing! Can you imagine doing that? Maybe a better approach would have been just to say "I have a jacket that doesn't fit or it isn't quite me, would you like it?" So after we made all our comments about it we moved on to other topics and enjoyed the rest of our time together. Then as we were leaving my Dad nearly jumps out of his chair and says, "Hey, do you like apples?" I happen to love apples and gave a hearty yes in reply. Dad was all, "Good, cause I HATE these ones, maybe you'd like them!"...No word of a lie folks...that is exactly how he offered them and only afterwards did he realize what he had done! That was funny!!
So to make sure I'd like them I tried one, it was yummy, so I decided to take the rest. Then I packed up my arms with our remaing stuff and headed out to the car. As I was juggling the stuff in my arms and trying to figure out how to fit things in my arms, the apple fell out of my hand and landed on the driveway. "Oh Poo" I yelped, looked up at mom and then gave the doomed apple a hearty kick. And as it sailed in the air, my breath caught in my throat as I saw it head towards my folk's car. I let the breath out and began laughing as the apple made it's soft landing in the yard! PHEW! Meanwhile Mom and I were laughing so hard we could barely see straight!!